Achieving a Work-Life Balance, Working Moms Edition

I Mom So Hard… but, like, does it have to be that hard? 7 work-life balance strategies for nurses:

To speak a good work-life balance implies a sort of see-saw, one that is elegantly even, with no side depleted of resources; everything, work and personal life is working in perfect harmony; nurses experience a symbiosis of professional and domestic spheres.

YEAH RIGHT. 

The truth is, a nurse work-life balance exists beautifully on paper. And for us working moms, we know that as soon as you dare to commit something to plan—if you have the AUDACITY to write it down, even—then that plan will laugh you right out of the room. What is achievable as working parents are moments of balance, in between the chaos of life. I would implore you to adjust your expectations accordingly, for an immediate pressure-release.

All this being said, there are some tips/tricks/hacks that can make your work/home life quite a bit smoother. As nurses, we are (mostly) great at prioritizing, (theoretically good at) delegating, and (capable of) knowing what ish to let go of. In other words, applying your nursing powers towards parenting responsibilities is a no-brainer. Below you will find a smattering of nurse-inspired/parent-applied methodologies.

Prep. All. The. Things.

There’s a certain smug satisfaction that comes from preparation. Whether you are an adept meal-planner, a clothes-layer-outer, or a diaper-bag-packer, doing everything before your head hits the pillow will make your mornings less stressful. I’ve known nurses who have brought in their entire week’s lunches to work at the start of their work weeks—although that’s a flex on using available community fridge space, I have to applaud their level of preparation.

The fact is, getting everyone out the door who isn’t you requires patience for the inevitable meltdown, forgotten homework page, or pile of midnight dog puke that greets your bare foot on the carpet. There’s no getting around this unpredictability. But—not having to also do tasks you could have done 12 hours before will be immensely helpful.

“One of the most glorious things about nursing is that nurses are needed at all hours. Use this requirement to your advantage to mold around your family’s needs.”

Write it down.

Whether you are a techie or more old-school, keeping a family calendar that everyone contributes to, and adheres to, is oh-so-necessary. Moms are often the execute branch of the family government. And since you can’t possibly relay everything that bobbles around in that busy brain of yours, committing it to paper(ish) allows everyone in your family to be held to a certain amount of self-accountability. Doctor’s appointments, school obligations, playdates, even dinner ideas—the more you can map out, the more tabs you can close in your monkey mind.

Delegate.

You know when you ask your partner to do something, and they do it, but they don't do it like you’d do it so then you have to go back and redo it? That’s fun. (Also a good way to set the stage for eventual couple’s counseling.) Best words of advice here when you start adding tiny humans to the mix? Lower your standards, and get a dog (for the smashed goldfish terrarium that's growing under your couch right now).

I’m only sort of kidding. In all seriousness, kids can (gasp) do chores, and even though they’re terrible at them, you’re achieving the parenting trifecta of activity/character-building/ticking items off your to-do list in one fell swoop. Budgets can be reworked and cleaning crews can be hired. Partners that don’t normally cook—can. You get the idea. Your job, as the bossy delegator, is to focus hard on this mantra while resisting the urge to correct their efforts: done is better than done well.

Consider bending your schedule.

Are you even a nurse if you haven’t worked a variety of schedules within a 24-hour clock? One of the most glorious things about nursing is that nurses are needed at all hours. Use this requirement to your advantage to mold around your family’s needs. Nightshift can go days, days can go flex, and flex can go prn. Yes, change is hard, but a more realistic schedule could be yours if only you would make the request. 

“One nurse I know used to draw hearts on her hand and her kiddos’ hands when she crept out of the dark house every morning before work; anytime they missed each other during that day, they’d kiss their heart. Little moments add up. ”

Remember YOU.

Remember that adage about applying your own oxygen mask before your seat mate’s? Well, it’s a particularly good analogy for parenting because many times you will feel that the proverbial plane is going down. Spoiler alert: parenting is a full-time job. So is…well, your full-time job. And since, as of this publication, there is no way to add extra hours to the day, you must carve out time for YOU. Maybe that time includes laying in bed and staring at the ceiling. You do you, boo, but you do gotta do it. Otherwise, all the mom-guilt you’re feeling will be a teensy, tiny bit true because a shell of yourself is actually not the most pleasant mom to be around. Quality Mom over Quantity Mom reigns supreme here. 

Connection comes in many forms.

Facetime, video chat, heck—even prerecorded children’s books read by you, are all great ways to check in and “be” with your family when you’re also “being” at the hospital. Nothing breaks a parent’s heart faster than a kid who can verbalize their longing for you, so be proactive here to show that you are missing them too. One nurse I know used to draw hearts on her hand and her kiddos’ hands when she crept out of the dark house every morning before work; anytime they missed each other during that day, they’d kiss their heart. Little moments add up. 

Build your village.

Basically, you could scrap numbers 1-6 of these work-life balance tips if you get #7 right. Did you know that the other half of the old adage, “It takes a village to raise a child,” is “…and to keep the parents sane.” Doesn’t that just make so much sense? While so many of you are lucky to have family nearby to lean on, that many more of you—don’t. And it’s for y'all that I underline the heck out of this last point: You need to surround yourself with people going through the same life stage as you.

No amount of meal-prepping, family-calendar-making, or “me time” will compensate for this essential truth. And that truth says: parenting is HARD; being a nurse right now is HARD. I hope you all get to feel that certain salve that comes from being in a moment with someone who exactly gets how you feel, knows precisely what you’re up against, and who bears witness to your struggle without offering placating tips and tricks. Who simply says, “you’re not alone and we got this.”  Start here.