The Working Mom’s Dilemma
4 ways your work home can support your family home
“Breanna, you have a call on line 1.”
Just as I was prepping to stick my patient, my radio crackled in my ear, “It’s your daughter’s daycare.”
Shit. Shit, shit, shit.
Moments later I went on a search for our unit’s charge nurse—my 9 month old had a fever, and the daycare had forgotten to mention that strep was going around, so I should probably bring her in for an appointment with her pediatrician, along with her twin sister, just to be safe.
Following the hour-long process that extricating oneself from a 12 hour shift 3 hours early entails, I sped towards the daycare, trying to determine if the little tickle in my throat was the beginnings of something more sinister than my normal too-busy-to-drink dehydration. My phone sat on my console, muzak playing as I waited on hold with the ped’s office. I would later find out that both girls were indeed strep positive, as was I; consequently, we all took the rest of the week home to ride out the illness together.
Does this scenario sound familiar?
The fact of the matter is that balancing childcare and work remain very much Mom’s Responsibility. (And this is assuming a two-parent household—single moms default to this role.) When little ones get sick and need to spend a few days re-cooping, it’s often Mom who stays with them. Yet, this arrangement can quickly eat away at any PTO, or worse, result in unpaid leave days.
2020 placed a bold underline on this reality. Dealing with quarantines, lockdowns, school and childcare closures…it’s no wonder that so many women were forced out of the workforce as a result. And the added stress that nurses face of being very much needed at work didn’t help matters either.
As we are just starting to come up for air in 2021, many working mom nurses are understandably taking a hard look at their places of employment, and asking themselves some tough questions.
Do I feel supported here?
When times got rough with my family, was my loyalty to my job repaid?
Were the sacrifices affecting my family appreciated by my place of employment?
If the answers to these questions were a resounding “no!” you might have found yourself sniffing around new job postings. But before you jump out of the frying pan into the fire and leave your current employment situation, make sure you know whether or not your new workplace is willing to support the Mom side of you.
Here are 4 ways healthcare institutions can better support working moms:
Offering maternity AND paternity leave
Besides the obvious health benefits for mothers and fathers bonding with their newborns, offering paid leave following childbirth is a strong indicator of an organization’s support toward all of their employees. And by encouraging men to take leave at all, it helps normalize the extended leave that mothers may wish to take—perhaps for a full 12 weeks rather than the standard 6.
Interest in their employees’ family obligations
The more that moms stick up for their family obligations when the needs arise, the better it will be for all moms working there down the road. But many times moms feel the need to present bogus reasons for missing work, fearing that another “child-related” issue may make them appear less than committed. Working in a place that encourages transparency with familial obligations is the best-case scenario for everyone. Don’t be put off asking in an interview about how commonplace these situations are—if the number seems too low, be wary that “secret parenting” might be the cause.
“2020 placed a bold underline on this reality. Dealing with quarantines, lockdowns, school and childcare closures…it’s no wonder that so many women were forced out of the workforce as a result.”
Supporting a return to work following FMLA
While FMLA (the Family Medical Leave Act) will preserve employment during times of childbirth and illness, once that 12 weeks is up, that job security is gone. Organizations that have chosen to invest in their employees by allowing them to keep their current employment status beyond FMLA requirements show a certain amount of wisdom. By retaining employees, they are breaking a cycle of ‘termination and reapplication’ for the same job that many women are forced to endure when they must take extended time off. The organization benefits too—they regain an employee who doesn’t need to be reoriented or trained beyond a brief reintroduction phase, helping to reduce overall turnover.
Having a clear plan for emergencies
Part of being a parent is expecting the unexpected. Urgent situations that necessitate a change of plans can and will happen many times over—job or no job. (My daughters coming down with daycare-induced strep is a great example of this.) Yet, organizations that support policies that support working mothers are the unicorns of the profession.
During the interview process with a prospective employer, don’t be afraid to ask how such policies and procedures are handled on the floor. For example, if you must leave early for any reason, how will that work? In a hospital setting, would a charge nurse take responsibility for your patients, or would you be expected to hand off to individual nurses prior to leaving the floor? (Perhaps asking current employees these questions would yield a more honest assessment, but no matter how you get your answers, these fine print details are important to know.)
2020 (and counting) shone an unforgiving spotlight on the plight of working mothers; as a result, a lot of conversations began about the unfair burden placed on us when it comes to balancing work and family life. Why not use the momentum of these conversations as an opportunity to support one another? Why not effect change by normalizing asking for support from our employers? Our future generations of nurse-moms will thank us.