You’ve heard it said before: nursing isn’t so much of a job as it is a calling.

While that notion is a bit romanticized for today’s modern nurse, the sentiment behind it holds true. It is also responsible for the reckoning we all go through in the early days.

Eager to shed our nursing school scrubs and step onto our chosen units as full-fledged nurses for the first time, there are certain aspects of nursing—some revealed to us immediately, and some wearing on us only after decades of experience—that are quite sobering. Being prepared for these inevitable pitfalls softens their blow somewhat, or at least allows us to focus on the brighter aspects that come, too. As Halloween approaches, we offer a unique take on the harsh realities and unexpected delights awaiting us as nurses. The tricks and the treats…

The tricks

• You can lead a patient to water, but you can’t make them drink (anything but soda, for example). Yes, human behavior, the one annoying wildcard in patient care. No doubt as a nursing student in clinicals you already witnessed the irrational and baffling choices patients make. Whether it was the end-stage COPD patient asking to tote their O2 tank outside for a smoke break, the BKA pre-op diabetic patient who never remembers to take their insulin despite already losing one limb, or the patients suffering with addiction in all its cruel manifestations, we as nurses must learn to temper our expectations for where our patients can meet us. 

• Bad stuff happens to good people. Bedside nurses regularly care for patients who are going through one of the hardest times in their life. Sometimes it’s chronic illness taking the upper hand, but sometimes a freak injury forever alters a patient’s life. Bearing witness to suffering is brutal. Nurses are not spared this truth. Creating therapeutic boundaries is necessary to remain professionally detached for your own mental health, but that can feel counterintuitive at times. Unfortunately, we lose a lot of patients. When you are actively coding a patient and the outcome is poor, it can feel like it’s your fault. Listen to me: it’s not. 

• You must learn to cram 24 hours of work into 12 hours. It’s no secret that nurses are being tasked with more than ever before. Burnout is a serious problem, and no amount of self care, healthy boundary setting, and days off can offset what it feels like to be assigned more work than is humanly possible to handle. Especially for new nurses, there will be shifts where you will feel desperate. Like, “there is no effing way I can do this!” The bad news is that you’ll be right, but also, you’ll still be expected to come pretty darn close. Finding a mentor, prioritizing like a ninja, and nurturing a team environment are all ways to ease the existential dread of nursing. And for the overflow, there’s always unionizing. As cliche as it might sound, we are the change we need in the nursing world. No one’s coming to save us but ourselves.

The treats

• The intoxicating feeling of being someone’s advocate. Every nurse remembers the first time this sweet moment happens. You truly go “above and beyond,” the patient benefits, and there’s a great and otherwise unachievable outcome that results. Management and your co-workers will applaud and that feels good, but it will be your patient’s gratitude and recognition that will be forever etched into your heart. Worth more than a handful of paychecks and enough warm-and-fuzzy juju to get you through a round of tough shifts, these are the magical moments of nursing. 

• Belonging to a work family is honestly the best. We don’t all arrive here at the same point in our careers, and lately with the way turnover has been, it feels like no one sticks around long enough to bond. But—BUT—when the coworker stars align and you find yourself genuinely part of a work-fam-bam situation, your own work as a nurse will elevate. There’s nothing like talking shop with the people who get it on every level—that kind of nerding out is so satisfying. But, then liking them so much that you find yourself ordering their fancy coffee reflexively, attending each other’s kids’ parties, and seeking them out as a shoulder to cry on…well, that my friend is living smack in the middle of These Are The Days. 

• The first time your mentee does something cool. We talk a lot here about the importance of mentors—finding them, maintaining relationships, how they benefit you professionally. But there’s something even lovelier, and that’s when you see one of your little birds metaphorically leave the nest. Some nurses come of age automatically programmed to Eat Their Young; but friends, that tide is shifting.

  It’s a direct result of nurses refusing to take part in the cycle of lateral violence. For those of us who manage to authentically stand up against it, there’s a sweet reward waiting. Just as we want our patients to thrive, we should also beam that light on the nurses coming up alongside us. Think of how it felt for you the first time someone you admired recognized your effort.

  Freaking amazing, right? Well, the secret sauce is this: you have the power to create that feeling in others. And the good vibes  come straight backatcha. Mentoring nurses is honestly the gift that keeps on giving—we have the power to influence the care teams that will one day look after our loved ones, and ourselves. It’s a win-win, treat-of-all-treats opportunity every time.

Pass the Reese’s

If you’re new to the profession, practice focusing on the aspects of nursing that bring you joy. Do more of what energizes you. Follow what feeds your curious mind. Savor the moments that bring connection, and magnify it back out into the world. As nurses, we must accept the tricks that happen all in a day’s work, but the treats will last us a lifetime.