I checked my work email for the tenth time, frantically refreshing and awaiting a notification that I was eligible to receive one of the COVID-19 mRNA vaccines. I held my breath and blinked hard when I saw that I was. I immediately clicked the link to sign up, not expecting today to be the day.

It was December 2020. I was sweaty-palmed, realizing I would be the first nurse in my department and only 16 days since the hospital received its first shipment. Our organization was carefully selected to be a regional distributor as we had the means to provide the critical storage specifications.

I knew most had mixed feelings about the vaccine and relied on me and how I poured over everything I could researching all things COVID, especially vaccine development. I blinked hard at the stares as I announced I was heading over to get vaccinated and pretended I didn’t feel eyes following me as I left the department. I was laser-focused on the fact that this vaccine could make me a survivor. 

I already felt I could breathe a little easier as my asthma constantly threatened to take my breath. My worries diminished over being pulled to the ER or one of the COVID units since I had critical care experience. I felt more confident I wouldn’t unknowingly bring this deadly virus home to my beloved family.

My mom died at age 48 of a rare autoimmune disease leaving me with a constant irrational fear of dying at a young age, tragically, the way she did. COVID took that fear and amplified it, as I was 45. 

My aunt was newly diagnosed with cancer and undergoing chemotherapy. This made her highly compromised with her brittle health. I was her only lifeline. I had been monitoring her care and health for seven months through phone calls and texts, all carefully documented in a small binder in my purse.

I could not risk exposing her to gain a glimpse of her that offered reassurance we both needed. I could stop and check on her. I could check her breathing and be sure she was eating. I could hold her hand. I could SEE her. I felt an immense sense of hope for the first time in months. I cried.

When the COVID-19 vaccines became a reality, the trajectory of the pandemic took a sharp turn in terms of becoming realistically managed. The vaccines offered a glimmer of hope so desperately needed in a masked world living in constant fear and worry. No one could anticipate the sharp divide following the emergency use authorization, which continued after full FDA approval.

The vaccine debate gained momentum as many fought to line up and to bare their arms for that first hint of a real solution to end the pandemic, while at the same time, many resisted holding on to their personal freedoms that felt threatened by a small jab. This heated discussion has left the world fragmented in personal opinions, and some, unfortunately, even questioning the guidance of our leaders in healthcare.

As the COVID vaccines have become widely available to more and more age groups, their safety and effectiveness against severe diseases have become more apparent. To date, the following are the four COVID-19 vaccines available in the United States:

• Pfizer-BioNTech Covid-Vaccine

• Moderna Covid-19 Vaccine

• Janssen (Johnson & Johnson) Covid-19 Vaccine

The vaccines have subtle differences, which are primarily in terms of delivery, dosing, mechanism of action, efficacy, and age groups able to receive the vaccine. The Janssen vaccine is available to individuals older than 18. The Pfizer-BioNTech and Moderna vaccines are now approved for individuals aged 6 months and up. These vaccines have created considerable strides in the fight against COVID-19. They have shed light on cutting-edge technology that will change the trajectory of vaccines and other life-threatening diseases and health conditions.

Yet there remains a significant amount of vaccine hesitancy, some of which has fueled the anti-vaccine movement, which is extremely harmful and based on a lack of trust and misinformation. Polarized political opinions have muddied the waters in terms of real progress towards significantly vaccinated individual numbers.

Public distrust in politicians, big pharma, and healthcare providers has become deciding factors instead of weighing comorbidities, exposure significance, and the advice of healthcare providers. Much of this is related to a vacuum created prior to COVID-related to a heated political climate.

The political divide is spilling over into evidence-based research in exceedingly harmful and toxic ways. Nurses and healthcare providers are in a position to have open and honest discussions with patients regarding vaccine safety.

We must take a stand and do this, so the populations we serve have accurate and up-to-date information to make informed decisions based on this, not popular opinion.